I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
