who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
