i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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