Sponge bath it is.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
