I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
