I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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