i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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