I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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