the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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