Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
