All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize