can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
