i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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