I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
