We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
