it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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