I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
