And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
