$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
