lets start a swedish sibling band together
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
