Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
