Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
