I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
