I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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