her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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