I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There r osticjed everywhere
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
