Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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