i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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