i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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