your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize