ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
