Bisexual people are plain selfish.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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