he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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