the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
