Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
