He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
