Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
