Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You can't motorboat a personality
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
