Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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