Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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