i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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