Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
