My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize