you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize