you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
