just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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