I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
