I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
