I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
