You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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