My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
