a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
