we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
