Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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