I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
