Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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