you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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