Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize