Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
