That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
