I'm really into asian looking animals
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
