doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
