Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
