called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize